CupCate.com

Will blog for £££. Or food. Okay fine, BOOZE.

Dear Internet/Silicon Valley/San Francisco,

Hi! It's me. Cate. CupCate. Of the London CupCates.

Here's the thing, homie...

I was made redundant at my job last week.

I'm there for another month, as I've agreed to do some very limited freelancing work on ye old Dollymix in June, and then after that, I'm broke, I mean, 100% open and available for new freelancing work.

Shit like this happens when you're freelance. The economy's bad at the moment (so I hear) and things are looking a little dull over here in the UK blogging industry. For example, please observe what happens when you Google "UK Blogging Jobs":

Yeah. I know, right?!

While there are no hard feelings and I understand that the company I worked for for the past year and a half "feel that we can no longer pay your incredibly inflated salary and support your extravagant lifestyle", it still sucks.

It sucks like...

...when you know you're in a relationship that is eventually going to end because either one of you doesn't want kids and/or you haven't had sex in 3.5 years and although you didn't want to marry the guy or even get a cat with him, when he looks at you over over half melted Jamba Juice, and says, "You know...I just don't think this is going to work. It's not you, it's me. It's been great, "

You're sort of relieved because you know how it's going to end, but then it just sort of pisses you off that HE BROKE UP WITH YOU and he gets to keep the apartment and YOU'RE THE ONE who has to start Googling BLOGGING JOBS and thinking about how you're going to be able to afford your next root canal...or something.

Does that make sense?

So, that's how I feel. I understand, I'm cool with it, I see how it's better for both of us in the end...but finding enough freelance work to float me for the next few months is my main concern at the moment.

But like...Silicon Valley? Could you maybe SHARE all of the work you have with the rest of the world? Does blogging REALLY need to be done in an office? Can't you just fly me out every couple months, give me a free laptop or something, and then let me get on with the blogging from London? It really will benefit you in the long run.

Please, let me explain how.

See, while you're sleeping, I'M AWAKE. You're site will be guaranteed to have fresh content on it by the time you and all those returning visitors go back to your site first thing in the morning. PLUS, how IMPORTANT and SERIOUS will you look by having INTERNATIONAL CORESPONDENTS??

TRES. IT WILL LOOK TRES/MUCHO/A LOT IMPORTANT.

So, all I'm saying, San Francisco, is that you're very wealthy. You've got a lot of blogging jobs, but it would be better for you if you just shelled out the cash to pay some hot ass bloggers in sterling and let them telecommute from London Town.

Just think! I can get you all the latest news on what drugs Amy Winehouse did last night, who Russell Brand is boning this week, and what Heather Mills is lying about lately BEFORE all of your other US based bloggers. Time is on my side! You're 8 HOURS BEHIND ME. Do you know how many hits you could be getting in those 8 hours!?!?

TRES. YOU COULD BE GETTING TRES HITS.

I know I'm American and all, but all this means is that I know shit about TWO cultures! TWO! How many do you know about? It's probably like one and a half. I can talk about Richard Hammond and Miley Cyrus with equal ease. If you want me to be British, I can be British! I sleep with a British guy on a regular basis! I'll even lie and say I like Marmite. I'll throw in random 'u's in my spelling.

Liouke Thious

But in all seriousness, Silicon Valley...San Francisco...California...The United States of America....

We have some fine bloggers in the UK.

But!

There is only ONE in particular that has not only participated in a rather bland, awkward debate over WAGS live on Sky News, and managed to become a sex and relationships expert for Yahoo just months before they fired thousands of people, and (AND!) was misquoted in a grid about feminism in The Observer Woman, complete with an unflattering embarrassing photo.

Where the hell else are you going to find those kind of qualifications?

I may not be whorish enough, *ironic* enough, or have a strong enough love for cocaine to be a part of Gawker, or perhaps friendly and perky enough to be a part of Sugar....but god dammit, I am all for settling and deal with disappointment and low pay very well.

Please. CALL ME.

Cate
xx

PS. In all seriousness, if you have any blogging or freelance writing work done, please get in contact. PM me or my email is in the links on the side. Please? I'll send you a photo of my bra.

Oops...

We definetly put petrol in our diesel car. Just waiting to fork over £130 so they can flush out our fuel system. Fuuuuck.

Nothing like Paris in the spring time...

So, instead of just giving you a link to my Flickr account, I thought I would just upload all of my good photos from Paris here. It turns out there are quite a few, so, please feel free to just ignore them if you so wish.

Paris was a beautiful place, and we (for the most part) were blessed beautiful weather. However, around day 3 of being in Paris, we started to realize how very close to home we were, and to how very, very tired we were. Iain caught a fever, and for some reason being locked up in a hotel room in Paris for hours and hours at a time wasn't so bad.

Iain slept, I watched an entire first season of Weeds on my laptop and ate tons and tons of Babybel cheese and the most fantastic little coconut cookies I've ever had the pleasure of putting in my mouth. Also? I discovered the most delicious sangria that was sold IN A BOX and cost less than 3 euro and was 7% alcohol. HELLO.

My favorite part of Paris: has to be Montmartre

My favorite thing in Paris? Breakfast - they believe in eating half a baguette first thing in the morning...HELLO.

My favorite memory: at Montparnasse Bienvenue station when Iain decided he wanted a Twix, but the machine fucking wasn't working, so he pressed in the code to get a Snickers instead, and when he reached in to grab the Snickers, he found a handful of Twix, too. We laughed all the way to the next train stop.

Best thing to eat: A Croque Monsiuer with an Orangina, and then a citron and sucre crepe...mmMMmmMmMm.

Least favorite memory: dealing with the asshole staff and the asshole tourists in The Louvre. Here's a hint, if you're a tourist and you want to see the Mona Lisa up close - YOU WON'T. Why? Because there are millions of other people who want to see it. If you would like to take a picture of it, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO. Why? Because there are millions of asshole tourists taking photos of it WITH THEIR FLASH ON and the FLASH will ruin your photos.

Favorite purchase? I bought waaaaay too many postcards with nifty things like this and this on them, but I bought a business card holder at one of those little sidewalk tourist shops near St Germain with what looks like a topless French prostitute smoking a cigarette. It's pretty much the best thing I've ever bought.

If you missed all of our fantastic photos from Tokyo, they are here.

I'd also just like to take this opportunity to thank the fantastic people at Six Apart for giving us the opportunity to see the world in a way we never dreamed we'd be able to see it. Thank you to all of the people who took time out of their busy work schedules to not only meet up with us, but to get drunk and do karaoke with us. Also, an extra special thank you to Ayako who did such a kick ass job of showing us around Tokyo. I miss Japan already, and Tokyo was my favorite part of our trip.

And, for the record, I totally squealed and jumped up and down when I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time. (And I nearly squealed when we saw the Moulin Rouge. I'm such a Moulin Rouge fangirl, so, this was very cool for me.)

 

Are you a lady? Do you like to win free things?

Why, hello there! I'm here to ask a favor, but I'm happy to say, it's a favor that may win you something nifty!

My only requirement for this favor is that you're a lady, and that you enjoy the Internetz.

It's easy, it's painless, and it will take you less than 5 minutes. And! AND! You don't even have to take off your clothes. Sweet, non?

So, here it is. A quick little online survey that will take all of five minutes, and if you so wish, you can enter yourself into a competition to win a free iTunes or Amazon gift voucher. Easy peesy.

To get started, simply click the overly large, overly bold link below.

Women's Online Survey

Best of luck, fair readers.

Bal du Moulin Rouge

I have always wanted to come here, and finally, I am here at last!